you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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