Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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