So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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