Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
did i walk over a car last night?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And then he peed in my hair
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