We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just high enough for therapy.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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