I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
its liver damage thursday
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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