White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
