The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
