Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
jump out the window naked night went bad
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
