Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
