They should really pass out barf bags in church
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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