Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
