There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
