Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
