I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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