yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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