Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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