I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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