So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
