i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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