whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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