I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
