I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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