maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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