so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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