Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
