Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
