Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
