I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
