Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
