just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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