the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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