the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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