No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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