do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
