Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
