I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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