the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
