your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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