i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
