I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
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I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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