Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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