In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
