? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
