real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
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It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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