You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize