i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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