She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
