At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
