Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.