awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.