but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize