he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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