Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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