the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
