Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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