I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize