I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize