Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
