your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
