these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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