yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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