woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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