YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
