Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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