i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
