Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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