I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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