the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
