I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
