Swine flu is the new snow day.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
